xxx

Thanks Marras for your fun message. I have recently required a Jack Russell (present from my sis) and Tallulah  chews through pretty much EVERYTHING I own. So I can understand how my book got caught in your dog’s crossfire!

Arlene – Dankie vir die versoek om my as motiverings spreker te ontvang.  Kontak asseblief vir Brenda.  Jy kan haar e-pos:  brenda@natashasutherland.co.za of besoek my webwerf www.natashasutherland.co.za vir meer inligting oor my motiverings praatjies.  (Al ons tegnologie werk nou weer - na eindelose probleme met verskeie gremlins! My sister het my selfs geregistreer op Twitter, wat ‘n hele nuwe ondervindeing is vir my!)

Natashja so glad you enjoyed the Forgiveness Speech at the Finesse Voelgoed Expo. It was a wonderfully powerful afternoon spent with great ladies.We are making plans to make an audio cd of the speech so pls keep a look out for the details on either website.

Speaking of audio cd’s hope you have seen The Bittersweet audio CD available now! Hope you enjoy. Am very proud.

Okay. Am off to take the boys to see the Moscow Circus. Last few days of holidays left and so far we have survived with only a few war wounds! When do boys get less busy? Or is that like asking if I, Natasha Sutherland, will ever give up chocolate for good?

In any case…Much love and Toblerone

xxxx

Listen to Natasha reading this chapter on her audio book. Click here to buy it now!

If I had to say words to Mr Y before I disappeared in a cloud of dramatic halo smoke ( I am ambitious am I not??!) I would tell him how beautiful I think he is. I would tell him that I never wanted us to descend into the courtroom soap opera squabbles we are about to pay homage to. I would tell him how I despaired because of the petty divisions we have spent time over, regarding chandeliers and paintings and candles and teaspoons. How the halving of homes and houses and petrol tanks is so futile compared to the memories of Simon Armitage and standing outside e.e cummings’ home. I would ask him if he remembers how when he was worried or angry ( which happened a lot!) I would take my finger tips and spread them gently over his forehead and try and smooth out his crumpled brow. I would remind him that his spoon to my spoon was a good fit, and that Paris will always belong to us. I would tell him about the mortified lady in George who worked out that her soap opera name was Spyker Hofmeyr, and that I so wanted to share that story with him but I didn’t know where his sense of humour had disappeared to…I would tell him that we had the power to show people that divorce need not make a broken home for children. That 2 souls can still grow together in a bond other than wedlock. We could have done that … been a shining example of forgiveness and love beyond marriage contracts and golden rings. I hoped for us to lead by example …we had the chance. I would have told him that his new lady was lovely and that I was relieved and grateful that she showed much compassion and respect for our 2 little rabbadoes. I would tell him that I see his earnestness in Sebastian and his charm in Ben…and I gave thanks for it every day. I would ask him to remind our boys of how I was / am …will always be … totally in love with them…and how they can see me in the moon and in fairy lights and in every clomp of earth in the veggie patch. I would ask him to remind them that they should always try and make decisions out of love and not fear….I would ask him to never stop reading to them and to always show them the book we made him for his birthday. I would tell him that I miss his hands. I would tell him that I wished he was proud of me for working so hard to establish a degree of financial freedom. I hoped that he could see just how much I had been trying to get to a point where I didn’t have to lean on him for money and breathing space….

I would tell him that he is so powerful he could ripple into many people’s lives for the better…that he has a silver tongue to speak to souls and the passion of intention to create change. I would tell him that I never hated him. That he was never my enemy… that I don’t like him much …but will always love him. That I believe in him …have faith in him to make a difference in this disintegrating world…. I would tell him that he was my destiny …that it all mattered. That it still matters and I wish him love and joy ….and peace.
I would whisper the poet Rumi’s words into his ear…
Out beyond ideas
Of wrong doing and right doing
There is a field.
I’ll meet you there.

I would tell him all of this if I knew I was on my way out …but I’m not. I am here for a long time to come still…Yee Haa! …so I will just sit in my aliveness and keep all of this quiet and sulking within my own heart. I mean that’s what we all do right? SShhhh. Let’s not ruffle feathers hmmm?

Isn’t that the problem? How late do we leave it before we speak our truths to those who we have unfinished business with? Why is it that we wait for death to remind us of how we should live?

Listen to Natasha reading this chapter on her audio book. Click here to buy it now!

On LADIES and LORDS

I was gravely warned by some of my female acquaintances that no woman could expect to be regarded as a lady after she had written a book.
Lydia M. Child

So this lovely Tannie asks me to sign a copy of Bittersoet…and she stands near me as I scrawl in this naked open page of her book …my book…but hers now. And that feels so good. I will never underestimate that feeling….That my words are taken away ….into other people’s homes. Countless roads traveled …and countless fingers turning pages…words forming images in countless heads. And the books lie in handbags, on coffee tables, on kitchen counters, on garden benches and under pillows. Sweet joy.

So I am signing this woman’s book and she stands tall and elegant next to me. After understanding how to spell her name I continue my scrawl ‘ Geloof’, ‘Hoop’, ‘Liefde’….She starts talking softly and tells me that I am such an inspiration. I smile with a mixture of pride and puzzlement. ‘…The way you have handled everything with such grace makes me believe that you are such a Lady…’ These words make me shift in my seat.

Because they twinkle in my childhood soul like a naughty star… You see… I have always wanted to be a princess…a real Lady… When I was young , my mom bought me this really pretty nightie. It was apricot and a polyester version of satin. But to me it was the real thing. I loved it. It had little ribbons fluttering by the straps and buttony-embroidery-details around the bodice. I loved how I felt in it . Like a true princess. I would take a towel and wrap it around my head piling it up high like a crown… with the result that I looked like a cross between Barbie royalty and an African Queen.

I felt so regal dressed like that. And walked with a stately elegance around the house. Bestowing words of praise and peace onto our pets and pot plants or a tub of butter…anything that couldn’t answer me back and remind me that, after all.. I really was … just a kid in a nightie with a towel wrapped around my head!

My dad often told us about his eccentric family. How his paternal grandmother had married a gentleman by the name of Sutherland…. who was ….Lord of the Manor!
I gasped ….if my great grandfather was an actual dinkum bonafide Lord …that would make me an actual dinkum bonafide LADY would it not?
My dad explained that in the villages’s folklore book, it was written that the Lord of the Manor owned the land from the outskirt borders up until a point in the sea. And this point in the sea was determined by an action. The Lord would have to mount a horse ( and not just any old horse mind you …but a white horse nogal!) and then – he was to hold a lance ( you know a lance? That long steel pole that all the knights used to thump each other with during a joust?!) And then he would ride out into the sea and when the horse reached as far as it could go with sea spew breathing into its nostrils the Lord would extend the lance to its fullest length … And spot where the tip of the lance touched the salty fray, would be the yard stick for the length and breadth of land owned by the Lord of the Manor. Oh wow!
Many a night I imagined this scenario…could I possibly come from such noble lineage? Could I possibly be descendent such magisterial stock?

Naaaaahhhhh!

Hey Karin S….I understand your frustration re the availability of the latest chapters that I wrote for Bittersweet / Bittersoet- On Beginnings.  But hopefully the following info will be pleasing to those who want the new chapter but don’t want to buy the whole book again….My publishers recorded me reading the entire book (including the new pieces). This Audio Book is due for release this month, March!  Please keep visiting the website for details.

I did another Motivational Talk at Cartonville last weekend and it was great to meet everyone there. I took my mom with. She has never been to any of my motivational talks …so it was great and scary at the same time (you know moms!!! They are your biggest fans AND biggest critics!) In any case it was lovely having her there. I dedicated Bittersweet to her, so it was cool that she got to hear it being put into point form as part of the Talk. Thanks Etta and to all who supported her on the day for such a good cause. Once again I am humbled to see so many women Paying it Forward for the sake of their community!

Ek het ‘n praatjie gelwer oor “Vergifnis” (vreesaanjaende onderwerp) by die Voelgoed Expo laas Saterdag, 6 Maart.  Was so wonderlik om dames te sien wat so ver as Rustenburg, Kroonstad en Witbank gery het om hulself met voelgoed dinge en intensies te omring.  Ek het ‘n goeie tyd gehad … het met omtrent 500 mense gepraat en het fantastiese nuwe ’soap opera’ name by my reeds lang lys gevoeg!  Welgedaan Finesse Span vir ‘n baie nodige en welkome geleentheid!

BLESSINGS!

Love and Red Lentils (I am on a detox!!!)

Natasha (aka Roxy)

Also happy to hear news of ‘Bittersoet’ being brought around the country as pressies for Christmas… being Christmas MAD myself, it so cool to think of the book being wrapped up in jolly paper to be opened on the Ho Ho day and hopefully bring love and peace back into people’s lives ….

And much love to Elsje – good news to hear that the book is spreading its wings overseas and being read by ex-pats and people with funny accents alike! SPREAD THE LOVE MAN!

Nicoline jou woorde oor hoe om te leer on weer ‘ASEM TE HAAL’ na die pynlike verbrokkeling van ‘n verhouding en hoe om weer jouself te bemagtig, het my so baie herinner aan daardie tyd en plek in my lewe.  En dis so ‘cool’ dat jou dogter weer hoop en vreugde in jou hart sien ingly.  Kinders is baie amper engele (moeilik om te glo, veral wanneer Benjamin per ongeluk aspris my gunsteling lipstick in die swembad laat val en veroorsaak dat my kreepy krawly woes in die water toyi-toyi!!!), maar om die waarheid te se, kinders is baie nader aan die geestelike as wat ek dink ons is.  En hulle sien transformasie en hoop baie duidelik skuif.  Baie geluk Nicoline!

Jacqui your story touched me so much . One of my proudest ‘Bittersweet’ moments has been when you wrote on this blog and told of how the book gave you the courage to take your daughter to play therapy to help her deal with her parents split.  So many parents feel that they are failures if they take their children for ‘help’ …but sometimes a child needs a space and a person to talk to who they are not linked to emotionally. Play therapy can do the World of good in allowing children the freedom to express and explore their feelings in a safe and objective environment. SO GO FOR IT! May you and your daughter and your estranged husband move forward in leaps and bounds of healing! 

Speaking of children …am on the final draft of Green & Blue  / Groen & Blou…my first children’s book. It’s a simple story that my mom and I wrote to try and help big and little people with some of the complexities kids face in separated / divorced homes. It is a real labour of love, with the characters modeled largely on mine and Asjas’  kids, and am thoroughly enjoying the whole process. My good and talented friend, Charlie Vettori,  is doing the illustrations and they are absolutely charming. For more info on the book and to view a first draft of one of Charlie’s pics, please go to www.natashasutherland.co.za

Everyone on board this project is so excited …we really feel there is a need for this type of story.

Anyway  …. Thanks for all the feedback. Always appreciated and never taken for granted…

Much Love and strawberry smoothies

Natasha (aka Roxy)

 Am always so chuffed when I get a response from readers who are forging out into the experience of making their own herb or veggie garden. As far as mine goes …I am one proud mama! My tomatoes are prolific and might take over the world… and my aubergines are so huge they could dwarf the Moses Mabhida stadium in KZN. And all this has nothing to do with me. Just a huge thanks to the brilliant soil. I constantly walk around my garden like a real nutter, telling the plants how absolutely clever they are!  Nuts maybe – but I really do find it all such a miracle. A seed … a clomp of earth …. A dollop of water …and voila! – LIFE!

Hint # 16

ANIMAL,VEGETABLE, MIRACLE

This is a superb book by Barbra Kingsolver. I have already talked about her PIZZA NIGHT recipe in an earlier post. But this book is wonderful.. For those of you who love planting and eating your own veggies…for those of you who feel the need to get back to living off the land a bit more, as opposed to constant consumer spending in neon lit shopping aisles…or for those of you who are curious about the food industry’s possible foibles and tricks of trade …then this book is for you. Barbara and her family commit an entire year to living solely on food raised locally and grown themselves. The book is written in her unique and evocative style and also has insights and food- for -thought inserts written by her husband and her daughter. This family was brave.  And they journey led to much growth ( vegetables AND souls), and crazy experiences. I don’t think I could do what they did…but I did find the book to be a thought provoking, inspiring read.  And if all else fails there are some great recipes!! How to cultivate your own mozzarella in 30 minutes, make your own spicy turkey sausage or family secret tomato sauce or even …..zucchini chocolate chip cookies!

P.s Another South African version of this type of book is ’A Farm in my Heart’ by Emilia le Roux and Francois Smuts. 

Much love and green beans

Natasha (aka Roxy)

But then …Wow. I opened Mike Dooley’s book ‘Notes from the Universe’ onto this …

’Visualizing for Beginners…For those who want convenient parking spaces, unexpected gifts, or chance encounters with cool people: First, think. Second, let go.

Visualizing for the Illuminated… For those of you who want a healing touch, world peace, or a new Bentley Azure: First, think. Second, let go. Choose carefully.’

I think its FAB! Got me all hot and excited I must tell you. So….think of a dream…something beautiful you want to happen in your life….now make the dream bigger…now make it beyond imagination…OKAY? Now ASK for it. Go for it!

 How does the Universe know what it is that you are wanting from your life…if you are not clear yourself!? And why stop at wanting just flour, sugar and eggs…when you can dream up a GIANT glitter cupcake that can FEED THE WORLD! Yeeeeee Haaaaaaaa!

Hope you achieved great Christmas Spirit …and if not …don’t worry …you get another chance next year! Ek was behoorlik bederf! Got lovely loot …like handmade Christmas Friendship Calendar from Asjas (and a bottle of Issey Miyake!!), Wooden Rolling Pin from mom, Celic pewter bangle from Lisa, GHD from Tami, soy wax candle from beautiful ladies at Placecol and DNB,  homemade biscuits from Snippie Forsythe,  a drawing of the ocean from Ben, and pictures Seb made showing Mount Olympus, Hades, and Zeus’ temple!!!

 Am without my boys for the New Year. Mr Y is spending time with them. And as excited as the boys  were at Mr Y’s arrival… and as nice as it is to be having quality time with my mom in Durbs, ….I am feeling forlorn and a little bit lost without Seb and Ben. Ek weet nie of ek ooit gewoond sal raak aan hierdie ding nie …  hierdie gesinne-vakansie-uitruil-ding wat egskeiding bring.  I feel like I have lost a limb. It seems to go against the very grain of my motherly instinct to be away from my children. Its yukky! I worry …about their noses and suntan lotion, and are they getting their vitamin tonic, and what happens when Ben wakes up in the middle of the night, and what happens when Seb slips into his melancholy moods…. Kommer Kommer Worry Worry….

Tx so much for the latest blog entries. Am so proud, Mercia, that my book is being read in far off places like New Zealand. En dankie vir Estee se komplimente en haar aanhaling oor moed.  And I wish Helga blessings and hope for safety for her son at war in Afghanistan. I am reading a book at the moment about the Agfghanistan war and about the women in Kabul during the Taliban regime. I cannot even begin to imagine how strong you must have to be each day. Baie liefde aan Mermin en almal wat Kerswense aan my en my gesin gestuur het. Blessings!!

Hint # 15

‘SCHEDULE WORRY BREAKS’ – Robin Sharma

For a few months this year I kept getting sick. It was a time when I was caught up in preparing for the legalities of divorce, trying to forge ahead with wotk, and take care of 2 whirlwinds of boys who needed quality love , care and attention. Oi Vey!!! When I went to my doc…she told me that stress was running my body down. When we are stressed the risk of us catching an infection or illness is increased by almost 90%. Er…did you get that ? A whopping 90%!!! That’s insane. Our emotional state of being affects our physical realm. DUH! So when I stumbled onto Robin Sharma’s suggestion of taking worry breaks I was intrigued.” If we are facing a difficulty,’ he says, ‘ it is easy to spend all our waking hours focusing on it. Instead  I recommend you schedule 30 minutes every evening. During this worry session you may wallow in your problems and brood over your difficulties. But after the period ends you must train yourself to leave your troubles behind and do something more productive, such as going for a walk in natural surroundings, reading an inspirational book, or having a heart-to-heart conversation with someone you love.’ OKAY? You got that? Considering how many sick and grey people I see on a daily basis, I urge everyone to treat stress management with great sincerity.  It’s a discipline I know. And I am sure I myself will stray off the path plenty of times …but its good to remember that its always a choice to lose precious time obsessing over worries. And too often we worry ourselves into fatigue and sickness, when the problems are merely exacerbated by our overly eager drama brains.  Mark Twain said ‘I’ve had a lot of trouble in my life, some of which actually happened.’

Julle moet almal die res van 2009 geniet! What a good, terrible, horribly wonderful year it has been!!